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Living an Inspired Life Page 14
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This incredible person even invited me to go bowling with her and her husband. I’d never imagined that teachers were actually human, let alone went bowling, before I met Mrs. Fletcher! She was also the first “authority figure” who welcomed my questioning and tolerated my sometimes disruptive behavior. By living from Spirit, she showed me that I was worth being loved by someone in a position of authority.
Thanks to Mrs. Fletcher’s inspiration, I went from a failing grade the previous year to an A—I wanted to excel just for her because she had so much faith in me. Now, exactly a half century later, Mrs. Olive Fletcher still stands out as the one individual in all of my school years who turned the direction of my life from fighting the system to being able to choose to fit in without having to give in. Yes, she certainly inspired me!
— Switching gears a bit here, in 1971 Don McLean read a book on the life of the famous artist Vincent van Gogh and was so touched by the painter’s fight for his sanity, along with his desire to be loved and understood, that he wrote a song about it. Called “Vincent (Starry Starry Night),” it was written as he stared at van Gogh’s classic painting The Starry Night—and every time I hear that song and recall how McLean was so inspired by the life of van Gogh, I’m inspired, too. I’m moved to tears, and I vow to be more understanding and compassionate toward those struggling with sanity as van Gogh did. (It’s interesting to note that in the 1970s the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam played the song daily, and today a copy of the sheet music, together with a set of van Gogh’s paintbrushes, is buried in a time capsule beneath the museum.)
I’m enormously inspired by people who act upon their own moments in-Spirit and create similar opportunities for countless souls as well. Don McLean moved me to read the same biography of van Gogh that he did and to include this example in this book. He inspired me!
I could write many more short descriptions of those who’ve provided me with life-altering inspiration, but I’d be remiss if I were to omit the one person among all those I’ve known who has been my greatest source of it.
Back in 1942, when I was two years old, my mother was left to take on the responsibility for raising my two brothers (ages three and five) and me alone. My father, of whom I have absolutely no recollection, literally walked out on his family and never once placed a phone call to see how we were doing. He paid no child support, since he spent a great deal of time in trouble with the law, including some jail time for being a thief. He simply walked away and never looked back.
After I was born, my mother brought me home to their tiny apartment on the east side of Detroit . . . and discovered that my father had left my 16-month-old brother, Dave, in the care of my 4-year-old brother, Jim, and had temporarily moved in with a woman in Ann Arbor, some 40 miles away.
Try to imagine the scene: It’s 1940. A depression has left almost everyone economically bankrupt. There are no government programs to aid the support of three children under the age of four. An alcoholic husband refuses to work, steals money from everyone, and regularly chooses the company of other women, leaving his wife to care for their three babies. An anemic infant needs medical assistance, which is largely unavailable to anyone living in poverty. . . . Yet out of this seemingly hopeless scenario emerged a woman who had a dream that her life could and would get better.
After finally going through the divorce, my mother was totally on her own. She worked first as a candy girl at a five-and-dime store, and then as a secretary for the Chrysler Corporation—and her earnings came to approximately $17 per week. She was forced to place Dave and me in a series of foster homes supported by the Methodist church, while Jim moved in with her parents. Her nightmare was realized: Her family had been split up, and the thought of this being a permanent condition was too devastating for her to contemplate. But she held a vision for herself that she never ever abandoned: Somehow, someday, I will unite my family and raise my boys under one roof.
Unfortunately, times were challenging and the years passed. Mother visited Dave and me whenever possible. She didn’t have an automobile or even a driver’s license, and the distance to Mt. Clemens (where we resided) was approximately 17 miles. But it might as well have been 7,000 miles, since there was no transportation or money to pay for her to get there. But my mom was determined: She even married a man she didn’t love as a way to unite her family.
In 1949, our family moved into a tiny, and I mean tiny, duplex on the east side of Detroit. Like our father, our new stepfather was also an alcoholic and an irresponsible provider. Drinking became his escape; and frequent, hostile interchanges were the norm. But Mother, who refused to see her boys separated again, continued to work, work, work.
Every day she was up at 5 A.M., making breakfast and packing lunches for her three growing boys. She took three buses to work and three home every day, standing outside on those endless freezing winter mornings and returning home at 5:45 P.M. in order to prepare an evening meal. My brothers and I all had paper routes or were stock boys, but the hard work fell on the shoulders of this never-complaining, always-cheerful woman. Every weekend looked like this for my mother: washing endless loads of clothes and hanging them on the line to dry; making breakfast, lunch, and dinner; ironing down in the basement on Sundays. The work never ended . . . yet this woman was the most joyful, loving, beautiful soul to be around.
All my brothers’ and my friends came to our house to hang out because of my mother. They loved her, and more than that, they loved being in our home because of the energy she brought to it. This woman lived from Spirit and offered all of us inspiration. Not one of us would ever have even considered talking back or being disrespectful in any way—she commanded our respect, but she never demanded it. And with all the responsibilities she had, Mother never left the house with her hair in curlers or her clothes in disarray—she took great pride in herself, and through her example, she taught my brothers and me to do the same.
While going through a second divorce from a now out-of-control alcoholic, she never abandoned her role as a mother to all of us. In later years when her own mother was quite sick, I watched in astonished admiration as she took on the sole responsibility for caring for her mom, despite the fact that she had four siblings. And then wonder of wonders, as my ex-stepfather reached a stage where his alcohol and smoking addictions were taking their final toll, I watched in amazement as she cared for this man who had largely mistreated her throughout their marriage. She went to his home, did his laundry, called for medical help, visited him in the hospital, and extended love where she had received only mistreatment and even abuse.
As Mother approached the age of 90, she bowled twice a week, lived on her own, and never complained. She wouldn’t leave home unless she was dressed to her high standards of appropriateness and her hair was beautifully coiffed. She respected herself, and this esteem has trickled down to me, her youngest son, and my two brothers as well. Even when all three boys were eligible for Social Security and Medicare, still she lived and breathed that loving Spirit.
In a wonderful book written by Michael Murphy called What I Meant to Say, he describes saying good-bye to his mother as he leaves her home after a Thanksgiving dinner. It’s all small talk as he makes polite excuses for having to leave, which prompts the following tribute that I’m including here. I’d like to say these beautiful words to my mother:
What I meant to say was . . . How can I possibly say good-bye to the person who was the first to hold me, the first to feed me, and the first to make me feel loved?
From a distance I watch you move about, doing the mundane tasks that to everyone else seem so routine. But for me, the tasks you lovingly completed year after year built and reinforced the foundation, the structure that made my world a safe and comfortable place to grow.
All that I am and all that I have can be traced back to you. Whatever accomplishments I have made along the way would not have occurred without first believing in myself. And you, you were the person who always believed in me.
Now with
a family of my own, I am amazed at the number of times I hear your words flow from my mouth. This ventriloquistic phenomenon was at first most irritating, but now warms me as I’ve come to understand that there is a part of you that will live on in me forever.
When time parts us, I pray that you will reach across from the other side to again touch my face and whisper into my ear.
For your warm and gentle presence in my life . . . for this, I will always be most thankful.
Yes, Mother, you inspire me!
Some Suggestions for Putting the Ideas in This Chapter to Work for You
— Make a deliberate decision to spend more time in the presence of those whom you’re most closely aligned to in-Spirit. This means seeking out “higher-vibrational people” and avoiding those who reflect more ego-oriented behavior patterns. Keep in mind that higher spiritual energies nullify your lower tendencies, while also converting you to more in-Spirit frequencies. Use your own inner hunches to determine if you’re in the right places with the right people: If you feel good in their presence, meaning that you feel inspired to be a better and more joyful person, then these are right for you. If, on the other hand, you feel more anxious, depressed, and uninspired, and you can’t wait to get away because of conflict, then these are not going to be sources of inspiration for you.
— Read biographies of those people who reflect your ideas of high spiritual energy, be they historical or contemporary figures. Just by spending time reading about their lives, you’ll feel a great sense of inspiration; moreover, their examples will serve to inspire you to emulate their lives and their greatness.
— Immerse yourself in movies, television shows, plays, and recordings tendered by individuals and organizations that reflect a rapport with Spirit. Simply listening to lectures by great spiritual teachers can increase your daily inspiration level.
Also, notice how you feel during explosion and chase scenes in movies that lead to an inevitable overexposure to violence, hatred, and killing. Check yourself in these moments: Do you feel closer to Spirit or further and further removed from It? Use your own intuition to remind yourself when it’s time to change the channel or leave the movie theater. You have more control than you realize over who and what you allow into your mind and the minds of your loved ones, particularly your children. Exercise that control to stay connected to Spirit. Invite into your heart only those energies that resonate with the desire to obey your ultimate calling to inspiration.
— Be clear about the distinctions between those you admire for their success in the physical world and those who are inspirational. The more you seek out and immerse yourself in ego-dominated energy fields, the more you’ll feel disenchanted and lacking in joy. Use the tenets of Spirit to indicate what you desire to emulate, rather than using wealth or success as benchmarks.
Now while a successful person like Bill Gates may be a model for great fortune, it’s important to realize that he and his wife have contributed more money and effort to the causes of literacy, healing, and peace than anyone else in the history of our planet. This stands in stark contrast to many of the “super rich” who use their money and status to further bolster their own ego. The Gateses represent high spiritual energy and serve as inspirational models for me, even though my financial picture doesn’t even come close to theirs. I’ve learned from their actions, and I’ve found great inspiration from their in-Spirit philanthropy.
— Choose some of the most inspirational people in your life and tell them precisely why you’ve placed them in this category. As you relate your feelings and appreciation, you’ll feel inspired merely by the simple act of acknowledgment. Every time I receive a letter or hear a personal testimony from someone who was inspired to pursue their own greatness because of my efforts, I’m touched and inspired myself. But I also know that the recognition and expression of that person’s feelings means that they’ll perform a similar service for others. And being in the service of others is really being more like God.
Ramakrishna, a great saint who lived in India and inspired millions of others from his God-realized perspective, once offered this observation: “[Saints] are like big steamships, which not only cross the ocean themselves but carry many passengers to the other shore.” May you too be like those big steamships—but if you’re not, then by all means allow yourself to be one of those lucky passengers.
Get on board by going on to the next chapter.
CHAPTER 11
BEING AN INSPIRATION FOR OTHERS
“We are all teachers, and what we teach is what we learn, and so we teach it over and over again until we learn . . .”
— FROM A COURSE IN MIRACLES
“The real purpose of teachers, books, and teachings is to lead us back to the kingdom of God within ourselves.”
— JOEL GOLDSMITH
JUST AS WE’RE ALL STUDENTS THROUGHOUT LIFE, we’re all teachers. In fact, we learn best by offering what we desire for ourselves to as many individuals as we can, as frequently as we can. And that’s one reason I wrote this book: If I instruct enough people for a long enough period of time, I’ll teach what I most want to learn, which is how to live in-Spirit. Following this line of thinking, it’s imperative that we make a deliberate effort to increase our inspirational energy, as this will lead us to being both a spiritual learner and teacher simultaneously.
Spiritual teachers have raised the vibrational frequency of their daily life to a point where they’re able to provide inspiration to others merely by their presence, and this is the standard to which we need to aspire. It isn’t necessarily a scholarly undertaking—there are no lesson plans or report cards for the kind of teaching I’m writing about in these pages. Rather, I’m talking about the things we can do each and every day to inspire our fellow humans . . . which is what this chapter is all about.
Kindness Inspires Others
Recently three of my kids and I were seated at the food court of a mall here on Maui. As we were talking and enjoying our meals, a young boy stumbled, and the tray full of hamburgers and French fries he’d just purchased from McDonald’s went flying all over the floor. His parents immediately came to his rescue, and the manager of the restaurant good-naturedly replaced all of the food at no cost. The boy was embarrassed, but it all worked out fine . . . except that people were having to dodge what he’d dropped as they lined up for their purchases.
Neither the boy’s family nor the people working at the restaurant took any initiative to clean up this mess, which was actually a hazard to the crowd at the food court. I watched for a few moments, and then I took an empty tray and proceeded to pick up all of the food and dispose of it in the trash container. I returned to my seat, saying nothing about the incident.
About ten minutes later, a woman who’d observed this scene without my noticing came over to our table. To my teenagers she said, “You girls have just been given a lesson by your father—he has shown you by his actions what it means to be a caring, helpful citizen. No one else in this entire place thought of doing anything about that mess on the floor, but he did. He inspired me, and I hope that you were inspired by his actions, too.” She left, and my girls sort of smiled knowingly, since this is rather a normal thing for them to see.
The point of this story is to illustrate that one simple act of kindness and service that’s in alignment with our Source will do more to inspire others than lectures on the virtues of being a thoughtful citizen ever could. All I wanted to do was eliminate the potential peril of greasy burgers and fries on the floor—I wasn’t trying to inspire anyone—and that’s the crux of this chapter. When we elevate our consciousness above the level of ego, which says, “I didn’t spill that food, so it’s not my job to clean it up!” to the level that asks, “How may I serve?” we become an inadvertent source of inspiration to anyone who’s in the energy field of our spiritually based actions.
We can also be on the lookout for opportunities to be a source of inspiration. For example, when I board an airplane, I tend to look for th
e chance to extend some sort of service to “strangers.” (I put the word in quotes to emphasize that there aren’t actually any strangers anywhere in the Universe.) Helping vertically challenged passengers place their carry-on luggage in the overhead compartment is perfect because others noticing this act of kindness may be inspired, while, at the same time, I’m heeding my own calling to be both inspired and inspiring.
I know that someone who needs my assistance is really a Divine emissary who’s right there in front of me, offering an opportunity for me to be in-Spirit. For instance, not long ago I flew from Maui to Los Angeles and then boarded an all-night flight to New York. On the way to L.A., I’d watched the fabulous movie Chicago; once on the plane to New York, I noticed one of the stars of that film, Renée Zellweger, getting on. Vertically challenged with heavy luggage, she certainly met all of my criteria for being both a source of inspiration and becoming inspired. I helped her with her baggage and then gave her a copy of my book 10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace.
Many people on the plane approached her, including the flight attendants, and I watched and felt inspired by the kindness, patience, and personal concern Renée showed toward everyone she talked to. As we left the plane, she handed me a note that I’ve reproduced on the next page, exactly as she wrote it, to illustrate how everyday acts of kindness serve as memorable moments of inspiration. Sharing it here with you is a way to express my gratitude for her thoughtfulness—what a bonus!