A Promise is a Promise Read online

  Edwarda seems to be a child of peace and a great admirer of The Prince of Peace. Enlightenment has often been defined as being immersed in, and surrounded by, peace. In this sense, Edwarda is a highly evolved, enlightened being. She lived with, and hopefully currently lives with, an inner peace. She did everything that it was possible to do to avoid conflict and maintain peace. She brings peace to those who seek her comfort today as well.

  Kaye told me, “If there was an argument taking place in the house, she would go into her room and cry. If anyone raised their voice at somebody else, she would cry. Even today, if Colleen and I have an argument, Edwarda shuts her eyes when we shout because she doesn’t want to hear our voices.”

  Edwarda has always been a child of peace. It was crucial for her to help others to feel peaceful. Perhaps it is this sense of peace that she always surrounded herself with that plays a role in her comatose state today. This is how her sister, Colleen, thinks about her:

  It’s just, I know my sister. I know that she’s just not a fighter. She always just took things as they were, and she still does today. Like I said, she’s in her own safe little world now. If I could put my hand on her and make her get up, I’d do it, because I’m a fighter, and Edwarda is not.

  She doesn’t have the stamina to fight, or take a chance on not feeling that pain again if she wakes up. Me, I would take the chance. I’d say, okay, if it hurts, I can always go back in. That’s the way I’d do it. But Edwarda always detested fighting.

  Colleen’s insights were very profound to me. Next to Kaye, she has always been the closest to Edwarda, taking on the role in their early years of being Edwarda’s protector. Colleen knew how gentle, peaceful, and nonjudgmental her sister was, and she did not want others taking advantage of her, as they were apt to do in those school years.

  Colleen talked candidly about her own years of being lost. She said that she would talk to her comatose sister, telling Edwarda that she, Colleen, was messing up. She said that she even envied Edwarda, whose comatose state seemed easier than Colleen’s life on the streets and in the drug scene. After talking to Edwarda, Colleen said that she always felt peaceful, both before and after the coma, because Edwarda would never be judgmental.

  This strikes me as one of the highest virtues that any of us can attain. I asked Colleen if Edwarda ever told on her when she smoked.

  “No!” Colleen exclaimed. “When we went to school, I went across the street where everyone went to smoke in the bushes. Edwarda knew what I was doing, but she not only never told, she never made a comment.”

  I asked Colleen if she believed that Edwarda was aware of what was happening to her while she was lost and doing drugs in the street.

  “Yes,” she replied, “and I still would go in and talk to her, and I never saw a look of disappointment in her eyes where I was concerned. When I would talk to her about it, I’d say ‘I don’t know why I’m doing this.’ Now, when she has a look of disgust, like if she’s watching TV, I just get that feeling from her, that disgust. Never did I ever get that look or a disgusted attitude or the feeling that she thought less of me. She just understood, just accepted it.”

  “Even when she was unconscious?” I asked.

  “Yes, she just accepted me like she always did, even though I know it conflicted with her own standards,” Colleen answered.

  “And you can never think of a time when, as her little sister, she ever judged you?” I asked.

  “No, absolutely never. No matter what I ever did, she never judged me,” Colleen insisted.

  “How about someone in the news or on TV, like a murderer?” I wondered out loud.

  Colleen seemed thoughtful for a moment and said softly, “She simply didn’t comment. If she saw someone begging for money, she would give it to them, but she never judged them—or anyone.”

  This is a remarkable quality for anyone to have, let alone a young girl. Everyone that I spoke to reaffirmed this trait of Edwarda’s. Cousins, aunts, friends—they all said the same thing: Edwarda never judged anyone.

  Colleen is certain that Edwarda will one day awaken. When I asked her if she truly believes in her heart that Edwarda will wake up, she responded without a moment’s hesitation. “One day, yes, I am positive. I see my dad. I believe anything my father ever told me, and he would have had it worked out with God that we didn’t have to put my mom and sister through this if there wasn’t a reason for her to get well in the end. I believe that when she wakes up, she is not going to have lost any time. I know that she understands what is going on and that she will awaken.”

  When I asked Colleen why she thought Edwarda was living her physical life this way and for what purpose, she gave me the following answer:

  Well, I used to say that people have drifted so far away from the Church that it’s going to take a miracle to bring them back. But I don’t think that anymore. I think that with my mom, people are beginning to show more compassion than they used to. I think that my sister’s reason is to teach people to have more compassion. That is her mission, and she can fulfill it from her bed. She will awaken when she knows this is taking place. That’s just my view.

  There is much to think about in the views presented by Colleen. Edwarda’s presence is indeed a peaceful, nonjudgmental one.

  When Marcelene and I are alone with Edwarda, we sense a higher presence in the room. We agree that there is a spiritual reason for her continuing in this state for so many years and that Kaye’s role in teaching all of us about unconditional love is spiritually inspired, also. I feel that my strong attraction to this family and their story somehow fits in with the higher purpose of Edwarda’s comatose state. I know that telling her story causes people to generate more compassion and return to a more peaceful state of grace because I have spoken about Kaye and Edwarda in speeches around the country. Everyone seems to recognize a living example of someone who has exhibited the highest qualities of the most spiritual among us. All are touched by this person going into a mode of sleep to teach us compassion.

  I am reminded somewhat of the story of Gandhi, who refused to eat and went into deep meditations as long as the people of his country were behaving with judgment or violence. When the populace could no longer collectively handle the facts of their master teacher suffering, somehow the violence was quelled. From a position of silence and inner sleep, a waking coma if you will, a great spiritual teacher was able to impact the consciousness of the world. I see the parallels here with Edwarda as well.

  Kaye told me that Edwarda was obsessed with the lives of the saints when she was a young girl in Catholic school. She carried the biographies of saints with her everywhere she went.

  “She loved St. Anne, St. Catherine, and St. Wilhelmina,” Kaye explained, “but particularly she loved St. Theresa. She would read everything that she could about them. This started when she was in the second grade. She used to have a little book, and then she went into bigger books. She loved the Blessed Mother and prayed to her all the time. She often said that the saints gave her comfort and a sense of peace in her life.”

  The more I learned about Edwarda, the more I felt that this child possessed virtually all of the qualities for sainthood herself. She lived a peaceful life. She always forgave others; she never held grudges because she simply did not know how to judge any one or any thing. If she saw or heard something that she did not agree with, she would simply pass on it. If she saw pain, she would attempt to ease it. This quiet teenager, who caught the flu around Christmas of 1969, and then a few days later slipped into a painful diabetic coma, lived with us long enough to make a huge impact on the lives of those close to her.

  Now, after a quarter of a century of silence, she speaks to us of compassion, peace, forgiveness, service, and unconditional love. Her story, which remained obscure for many years, is beginning to be known throughout the world. She is featured in newspaper stories and national television shows, and she has a book written about her and her extraordinary mother. People come to her from distant plac
es, and they experience healing and increased peace in their lives.

  Edwarda and Kaye have been instrumental in bringing my own family closer together. Our children have gone into the room with Edwarda and have sung to her. It is a joy to know that they care enough to sing. They notice her appreciation in the most subtle of ways that only children are capable of sensing. Our younger children hop right up on the bed and hold her hand. They bring her poetry and drawings, and most importantly, they include her in their prayers.

  Marcelene and I have never left the O’Baras without marveling at the enormous amount of love that seems to be present there. We count our own blessings, and we are in awe of the commitment to love that radiates into every corner of that home and into us when we are blessed to be there.

  We both believe that if enough people hear the message of Edwarda and Kaye, it will be like a small ripple extending outward to the rest of the world, sending a message of peace and compassion, which seems to be what both of these divine lives are all about. As this message circulates throughout the world, perhaps Edwarda will feel that her long sleep need not be further extended.

  This is not in our hands. But we all know the enormous power of prayer and how healing it can be. We ask that all of you who are reading this story put Kaye, Edwarda, Colleen, and Ricky in your prayers. We ask that you yourself take on the qualities of love, nonjudgmentalness, peace, forgiveness, and gentleness as your own way of making this story complete.

  Kaye and Edwarda’s story is not complete, however, without your knowing about the visitations of the Blessed Mother.

  The next chapter concerns itself with the visitations of the Blessed Mother to Edwarda’s bedside. Edwarda has much in common with all that is spiritual in the teachings of Jesus Christ and other denominations and religious persuasions. In this next, rather unorthodox chapter, we learn some things from the Blessed Mother that make these parallels even more astounding.

  I ask you to keep an open mind. I can relate to you without any reservations that being in the presence of Edwarda O’Bara and her mother, Kaye, brings us a renewed sense of healing and spiritual nurturance. You cannot help but be touched by the story of Edwarda’s life.

  Edwarda is living, breathing, and helping others find the sacred in all things. She can teach all of us many significant lessons. Following are a few of the more obvious ones that you may want to emphasize and work on in your own life each day.

  What We Can Learn from Edwarda

  and How We Can Apply It

  After studying the 43 years of Edwarda’s life, there are five lessons that stand out. As we think about and pray for the recovery of this divine soul, we can benefit from learning and applying these lessons in our personal lives.

  1. Be appreciative of your loved ones in every present moment. There are times in our lives when we tend to take our loved ones for granted. We forget how precious they are until they are hurt or taken away from us in some way. Be thankful for every moment, in the precious times that you have with your children.

  Be grateful for everything about them, in particular whatever aspects you may take for granted, such as their smiles, health, funny little habits, their thoughtfulness, and even the things that you find annoying. Stop in the middle of your outburst, and feel yourself smile. Think of Edwarda and all that inner beauty, and convey this message to your loved ones.

  2. We are not our bodies, we are souls with bodies. Our inclination is to put our attention on what we can observe with our senses, and to treat only this as reality. But our bodies, like everything in the physical world, are simply like quiet bits of dust, parts of a process that is always changing and transforming the physical, material world into something else.

  The authentic self never changes. Some call this the perennial self. Acquaint yourself with the unfolding of God in everyone that you encounter, perhaps beginning with your loved ones. Relinquish an emphasis on appearance and accomplishment. Know that every one of us is a piece of God, deserving of love for this and no other reason.

  Edwarda’s body is not walking around. Her limbs temporarily lay at her sides, yet she is just as much an extension of God as any Olympic athlete. Try to see this in everyone, and you will erase any obsession with appearance and performance. The result will be more love and light for everyone.

  3. Become aware of the power of peace. Often there is a tendency to resort to anger or physical manipulation to get a point across. We have all raised our voices and yelled at someone who was not doing our bidding the way we wanted it done. Some will speak of hating those who disagree with them or break the rules. And there are some who strike out with fists or slap those who are smaller and defenseless. Remove all traces of this habit of ego from your life by consulting your sacred self when those moments occur.

  You can make much more of an impact by being gracious and being unthreatening yourself, in the face of discord. You can remove judgment, as was Edwarda’s way in her waking life. You can only give away what you have inside. If you are filled with rage, that is what will come out when you are pressured or squeezed in some way.

  Edwarda’s life is a dramatic picture of the power of peace. You can remove inner rage by meditating on Edwarda and her profound peacefulness. Being at the mercy of those who annoy you is the same as turning your life over to those who are less peaceful than you. Put peace into your heart, and extend it in a nonjudgmental way, just as Edwarda has done throughout her life.

  The essence of spirituality is living peacefully and generating that peace wherever you are. Enlightenment is the state of being surrounded by, and immersed in, peace. I feel that Edwarda’s long sleep is a metaphor for this idea of being in peace and sending it out to all whom we encounter.

  4. God is in everything and everyone. Keep in mind that the universal life force that we know as God is omnipresent. God is not in some of us and absent in others. We do have the choice as to how we use this God force, but it is everywhere and in everyone. Learn to honor this awareness.

  Know that God is not a punishing force, but a force of unconditional love. We cannot understand why someone goes into a coma for so many years, but it is only our ego minds that fail to comprehend. God is working through each and every one of us. It is our minds and personalities that say it should be different than it is. God often works in ways that are incomprehensible to our intellects.

  We must honor this life force that is in each and every one of us, even though our ego minds say it is a tragedy, or that something is wrong. Nothing is wrong. Edwarda’s life mission is on target. She is serving all of us, and therefore serving God, because God is in all of us. When she is to awaken, she will do so.

  Never doubt the life force that is in each and every thing and person. When this life force, what we call our life, leaves our body, there is no change in the weight of our physical body. Our lives are weightless. Our bodies weigh the same alive and dead. Our life is in a dimension that defies weights and measures. It is this formless, weightless, boundaryless, immeasurable aspect of ourselves that we know as the God force that we must always honor.

  5. As long as you are alive, your life mission is incomplete. In his book, Illusions, Richard Bach wrote that there is a test to determine if your life’s mission is complete. “If you are alive,” he wrote, “it isn’t.” Know that each and every one of us has a heroic mission to accomplish. Every breath of your life is in the direction of this spiritual purpose.

  Not all of us are here to be saints in the eyes of a religious authority, but we are all saintly in that we have the God force within us. Our bodies are nothing more than the curriculum that we are taking to reach God. If your body cannot see or hear, or is missing a limb, or immobilized, this is not an indication that your life mission is canceled.

  You can do your work from a wheelchair as well as a pulpit…from a bed in a quiet room or from behind a piano. Edwarda is no less on target in her life mission because she does not talk to us or move around, nor is your purpose any less valid and impo
rtant because of any of the physical circumstances of your life. Every breath that you take is a giving and a receiving of the life force that is your sacred self.

  You take in a deep breath as a gift from this force, and you release it back into the air as your return gift. You will absolutely know when your life mission has been completed. At that moment, you will enter into a state of pure bliss, symbolizing your reunification with God. While those breaths continue to give and take, you are also participating in the mission that you signed up for when you entered your body at the moment of your conception.

  This, then, is Edwarda—a divine, peaceful, nonjudgmental, unconditionally loving, forgiving, quiet child of God. She lays motionless and without words, but she gives all of us pause to consider the miraculousness of our own lives and how we might improve them by taking on some of these qualities that she possesses.

  An Irish priest responded to Kaye’s question of what use Edwarda’s life could possibly be, by saying, “Truly she gives meaning to our lives.”

  And Kaye says, “I’m afraid someone will think I am crazy, but I believe she’s doing the work of the Lord.”

  I can assure you that I know you are not crazy, Kaye. We are all working at allowing our higher sacred selves to triumph over our lower selves rooted here in the material world. You and Edwarda are way ahead of most of us.

  Chapter Three

  The Blessed Mother

  “You suffer as you do for those whose hearts are full of greed. The pain you endure in silence has won many souls, through Jesus, my Son.”

  — Message from the Blessed Mother to Christina Gallagher,